Thinking Deep Thoughts

This place is scary Our hearts are broken and angry How are our children faring? How are we to explain this to them? How is any of this helping this Country become great? FYI, it never has been The Hows, The Whys, The What Ifs Uncertainty at ever turn, every waking moment Do we not see? Do we not hear? Some ask, how can we be happy? How can we live our daily lives? How can I continue in privilege? How can I turn a blind eye? Words stop in my mind, unable to form together Pain locked in my throat Crying happens regularly There are so many questions, not enough answers, not enough solutions How did it come to this? Well, it has been a long tme coming It has always been here, the ugliness It was built this way, on foundations of blood, greed, hatred They just needed the right puppet, the ones that came before didn't quite have what they were looking for The needed bizarre, erratic, nonsensical thinking Smoldering fires have turned in to infernos Festering boils have now began oozing filth everywhere Infection has taken hold Hate, Anger, Disgust, Shame, Degradation, Cruelty, Barbarity, Sadistic Destruction of a people Dismantling laws Think it cannot get any worse? Just watch However, The Shadow Villain will fall...eventually The Rebel will rise The Innocent will survive Just watch

The Story of The Hearts

I had no idea that I have neglected this Blog for so long. I will admit that not having a decent computer and the ability to focus does tend to hamper things a bit. I say it everytime so this time, I will refrain from saying that "I will be better about posting" I wanted to share a little story about hearts with all of you. Some of you already know, some do not. Some share the same situations, some don't get it (or don't want to haha) Here I am in the desert, having transplanted myself from Lancaster, PA all the way back in 2001. I arrived in Apache Junction with a population of roughly 37,000 people. Learning to adjust to this harsh environment and all of the crazy terrain within, I walked blindly and barefoot onto the hot, red dirt. I moved here in full blown summer, how was I to know what I was signing up for? I researched everything else except the fact that I was driving in to a furnace. Side note, I do not recommend moving here in a UHaul running on gasoline fumes unable to use the AC. The cool part (back then) about living in Apache Junction was definately the quiet, the slow pace, the nature and the small town vibe. It unfortunately has become a victim of developers and over population as most beautiful places become. I now live in Phoenix, but that my friends is a story for another time. Let us get back to the hearts. When I moved here my children at the time were 9 and 4. I had to find ways to keep them entertained and excited about this new place that we moved to. We lived in a very natural setting. Our house was situated on lots of property and surrounded by desert washes, various cactus varieties and trees. Daily, the kids and I would tend to my sisters horses and then go for walks, which my kids lovingly referred to as exploring adventures. We would watch DORA or Blues Clues and Sponge Bob and then go off to explore the desert. I quickly fell in love with this barren, hot and unforgiving place. Our view was made that much better by the Superstition Mountains standing watch over all of us. At this time in my life, my life was just as unforgiving as this desert. It was chaotic and ugly. The beautiful thing that kept me moving forward was (and always will remain) my children. They were the most perfect part of life. They kep me grounded, taught me things daily, showed me how to be softer, kept me focused on the now, let me be silly and loved me unconditionally. I always looked forward and kept my head held up high no matter what came my way. My children took in all the wonder of this land and we would explore every part that we could, it became our thing. We had something that no one else shared with us. It was our bonding time. After some time, life tilted, it became unfamiliar and scary. The one thing that remained was me being able to walk out of my front door and stand on the warm dirt. Grounding became my thing, before it was a "fad" On my travels and exploration of different parts of the desert, I began feeling a tug in my heart. A comfortable peace would wash over me and I would suddenly look down, sometimes up but mostly down. I would look down and rocks would just seemingly push their way through the dirt and sand mixture. A shape appeared and suddenly revealed a shape of a heart. Not the realistic, anatomy shape but the familiar, grade school paper cut out shape. Over time, every walk would produce a heart along the way. Sometimes, I would pick one up and lovingly hold it in my palm feeling the warmth, instantly comforted. Some times I would put on in my pocket and take it home with me. I began a lovely collection of heart rocks and other objects. I kept them in my house as well as in my little rock garden in the front. They were surrounded by my stones and runes. It became a little piece of me that I would share with those who understood the signifigance. I did not have much self love you see. That was never something that I was taught to do. And any sense of self worth was beaten, berated and stolen from me every time it showed up to the conversation. Once the book of my life took a turn and a new chapter was started, this was when hearts began appearing. I took it as a sign to learn to slow down and pay attention to what the Universe is sharing with me. Something was telling me that love is all around me and inside of me and it was time to embrace it. When I mentioned it to most, they thought me strange or didn't see what I saw. Others exclaimed that they too saw them and that brought me happiness! Others were able to feel the pull of this beautiful, special imagery. The reason that I wanted to share this little story with all of you is because I have met others in my journey that see them and post them on social media and it is so cool! It has become a little movement, spreading love!I love seeing the many different things that hearts appear. I have personally experienced rocks, cactus, leaves, water spots, soap bubbles and food! It is super cool. I hope you enjoyed this little memory of mine. I am including of course pics of many that I have found. I cannot seem to shrink the pics so you are getting them in your face haha. I hope that you will be inspired to take a moment and look around. I hope that hearts appear to you as well so you are reminded that love surrounds us all and that love is the key. With love we will survive. I leave you with Peace, Love and Laughter....Ti <3

Wow....time indeed does fly.

The Phoenix Funkeros 5 Year Anniversary Show Re Cap

And here we are to speak on the 5 Year Phoenix Funkeros Anniversary Celebration! We spoke on the 5 years Anniversary back in April right before the "official" date, but now we get to speak on the Anniversary show and beyond! Let us begin by once again introducing the fellas. First up, we have Tony aka Funk Machine. The "finisher" as I like to call him. Still has the coolest '62 Impala, still an amazing Girl Dad, a family man and a dope ass friend too! He has his West Coast Wednesdays show on Mixlr. Next up, we have James aka Star Groove. The "early bird" as I like to call him. Still a collector, still inspiring others, still my partner and an all around awesome dude! Catch his Monday Morning Mix show on Mixlr. I would like to re introduce Gabe, because now...he has an aka, Gabe aka Boogie Monster. The "soul" as I like to call him. Still a family man, a cool ass Girl Dad, a dope ass vinyl owner/collector and a great friend! He has his own show now called Soul Sundays on Mixlr. And ...we get to introduce the newest member....introducing Davey D aka Davey D. Made his debut on the Funk Monday show along with the fellas, he did a great job for his first time! He is a cool dude, always ready to help, a family man and a great, genuine person. Okay, now that the introductions have been covered, we get to talk about the 5 year celebration that happened this year. Discussed and planned under wraps, secret discussions made over cans of Cactus Cooler in Funk Machines' garage with his youngest daughter circling around them on her razor scooter. The fellas began to make plans. The coveted artists were already spoken about and the gears were shifting in that direction. The venue was already set, as the Yucca Tap Room is the home base. The date was then secured and plans began rolling out. These dudes hustled hard! They began doing events all over the place and every chance they got, they were willing to spin. Back to back shows created a whirlwind of funk, boogie, freestyle, oldies and more! Our heads were spinning trying to keep up with these dudes. Along comes the highly anticipated date. November 11th, 2023. Guests are: XL Middleton, Moniquea and Zackey Force Funk. Southern Cali funk legends! XL Middleton as you may have heard is a performer, a songwriter, a beat maker, a record label owner and a friend. We had the pleasure to finally meet Miss Moniquea, with the voice of a Goddess, she is a singer/writer/performer and a friend as well. And lastly but not at all least is Zackey, a genuine dude with a stage presence like no other. He is a singer, song writer, rocket builder and artist, he is a friend also. All three are some of the coolest, down to Earth people you could ever know. Tickets started selling, anticipation started building and the date krept up on them quick! It was a crazy, whirlwind Saturday. Everyone was getting ready and we waited on the message that the planes had landed. Finally, we got the message! A few misturns by me in the airport ended up delaying the pick up by a few extra minutes but we FINALLY got there. We picked them up and headed to the hotel. Zackey...who clearly runs to his own beat was already waiting for us in the hotel lobby. Hugs and handshakes were passed around. We got everyone settled and situated in their rooms with plans of meeting up soon for travel to the event. The sun began to set and it was time to get to the Yucca for sound check. I arrived fashinably late, sound check was under way. The special guests were getting situated for the coming show. Anticipation, a little bit of nervousness and excitement showed on the Funkeros faces as they waited patiently for doors to open. The ladies of the crew..my friends..my family (Monica, Randi and Rayleen) were busy setting up the merch booth and making room for the stars merchandise as well. Finally time to greet people as they come in! The doors were open! The room began to fill up and the guys took then stage to begin the set. The crowd bubbled with excitement. People were buying up merch left and right. The stars were busy throwing out autographs and snapping photos with everyone who approached them. Lights began to dim, music changed over and then Zackey began to perform. It was a great show so far! Zackey had the crowd moving and grooving and screaming! It was so full of energy that it began to spread through the crowd like an electric current. XL and Moniquea took the stage next and the already excited crowd began to bubble over. The room was heating up not only from the body heat of all the people on the crowded dance floor but from the heat of all the performances. I had to take a step outside for some cool air and while I was out there...there were a few others out there talking excitedly about how great the show was, it made me happy and full of joy to witness this. The night was so magical, it kept getting better and better and surely no one wanted it to end. Our good friend Darrell D spoke up on his introduction of the fellas and it was the most heartfelt moment. His words struck a cord with everyone in the room. The power behind the words of someone who really has love and respect for others is a powerful thing. And these words hit deep. This was a night to remember. Being able to witness this momentous evening and share this night with these guys who have worked so hard, was truly a blessing. The night was coming to an end and there was one more gift to be presented. Davey and his wife Rachel had a cake specially made for the fellas. A beautiful cake, delicious as it was cool. The guys shared this with all of us who remained. The ones who have been there from the beginning, the amazing crew at the Yucca, the performers, and the family. I am keeping this one short. I am going to add a ton of pics and I hope it shows how great these guys are. Do yourself a favor and tune in to one of their shows on MIXLR. mixlr.com/phoenix-funkeros. We celebrate you fellas, congrats on 5 years and here is to many, many more! Peace, Love Ti

An Ode to The Phoenix Funkeros - Los Funkeros EST 4-20-2018

I will try to keep this from becoming a book, but if you know me, you know how much I love storytelling. Especially when it involves some of my favorite people. 5 Years ago the Earth shifted a little to the Left and a few like minds were brought together, they were brought together by a mutual love of music. And music on vinyl to be more specific. Vinyl has a special sound. The crackle, the sound, the nostalgia and the beauty, this is the reason to keep it alive. Combining forces ( just like Voltron) were a group of dudes with a passion for music and a need to share it with others and they wanted to keep it "old school" by spinning all vinyl. Things started in small places and unlikely places. There were 3, then 4, then 3 again. Some went their own way, some chose a different way or chose a new area code. All in all, everyone ended up where they needed to be. And now, the crew is resting at 3, with some friends sprinkled in the mix for added flavor. I am here to tell you a little story of The Phoenix Funkeros, known lovingly as Los Funkeros. The Phoenix Funkeros Boogie Crew consists of not only the DJ's but also of the Funk Familia that stands beside them cheering them on, rocking the gear, listening in to live shows, shouting out their names from the rooftops (or maybe that is just what I do) and spreading the love of Funk/Boogie Music and more! Over the past 5 years we have witnessed some monumental events and tons of little ones too that just make this crew so special. I have photographed alot of their things along the way, I tend to take a million pics. And I want to capture as many moments as possible. They have participated in everything from Backyard Boogies to Cruise Nights on Grand Ave, Birthday parties, EPIC Toy Shows, BBoy battles, Graffiti Art Shows, Crates Record store, KDIF Radio, Car shows, Christmas parades, Festivals, Local business grand openings, Local business anniversaries and just hanging out at the house. They have traveled to OC, California to participate as guest DJ's with the Legendary Funk Freaks for their 10 year and 13year Anniversary events. They have traveled to Tucson to spin at some great Car Club events and local bars for Friday night fun! They also have been a part of a Monthly radio show broadcast out of California, called Funk Mondays. We always have some way to listen to these dudes, thank goodness! The Funkeros have brought so much joy to so many and have touched the souls of so many people. There is no such thing as a bad day when you hear them spin. They really bring smiles, laughter and good vibes everywhere they go. Over the years, a family was formed. Bonded by music. We have been blessed with seeing some amazing DJ's play with these guys and it is the coolest thing ever. I especially love when they have women guest DJ's because it shows how great these guys are. The first highlighted member is Tony aka FunkMachine, who happens to own one of the baddest 1962 Chevy Impalas that I have seen. He is a family man and an all around cool guy. He always looks serious. He has a big heart with a quick wit and a contagious laugh, he always is quick with the jokes, finds the best memes and makes a great travel companion because he knows how to find the nearest gas station and how to find the best street tacos! He spins the stuff you can never find, that hard to find funky stuff that you haven't heard since you were rolling skating on a Saturday morning in 1985! Also, he has a vast knowledge of West Coast Rap/Hip Hop. On Wednesdays he hosts a live show on Mixlr spinning all rap/ hip hop from the West Coast. This makes my Cali born heart happy and gets me to sit low to the left side with one hand on the wheel on my commute home. No one can finish a live set like FunkMachine, he is, well, a Machine. The next highlighted member is James aka StarGroove, who happens to be a Toy dealer and a big Mr T collector. He is a groovy kind of dude. He always has a smile on his face which kinda has the same effect as a yawn in a crowded room, you can't not smile when he smiles. He has a big heart, treats everyone with kindness and makes a great bodyguard/bouncer if you happen to run a vintage clothing shop next door to a certain toy store that he is a partner of. He spins stuff that blends so well together you don't even realize that he just played a Cure song from 1983 and transitioned it flawlessly into a Parliament Funkadelic song, so your heads spins like the vinyl on the turntable but your feet and hips have to move. He also has a vast knowledge of all music genres. It is very hard to catch him off guard with music knowledge, and never test his Transformers knowledge! On Mondays he hosts a live show on Mixlr spinning everything from Funk to Boogie to Oldies and 80's synth pop with some Prince sprinkled in for good measure. He has brought joy to Monday mornings as most people don't look forward to a Monday morning. He is the grooviest guy around! The final highlighted member is, Gabe aka Gabe. This guy is so smooth that his name is his aka name. Gabe is like the cool dude in the corner of the party with the dark shades on who speaks to everyone with his music. A man of little words, he throws vinyl down on the turntable like I do words on a page. He is a family man as well. He has a way with music that just flows so smooth that it puts you in a comfortable space that makes you either bob your head, snap your fingers or get your groove on. He has a vast collection of some of the best reggae and oldies that I have ever seen in one place. He brings the heat, sometimes we need a fire extinguisher. I look forward to listening to his sets each event that I go to. Looking forward to more to come with this guy...hoping he will host a live show too that we can all follow and get into to. Stay tuned..... I have to say that because of this group of guys, we have all been treated to seeing some of the best guest DJ's to many of their shows. They have hosted good friends, new friends, big names in music, small names in music and local legends as well. I can say that I am truly grateful to have been a part of this movement of Funk. The movement is growing each day. I wanted to shout out these guys for their 5 year anniversary. Cheers to you all! Wishing you many, many more years of new things, exciting things and growth. All good things come to those that work hard and you all work so hard, it is something that we all can admire. They all practice for hours, they listen to new music, they absorb as much music that they can. I wanted to thank you guys as well for sharing your love of music with all of us. Thank you for sharing this journey with all of us and allowing us to be both spectators and participants. It makes for exciting days and nights. I also want to thank those that follow them, support them, join them, guest DJ with them and shout them out to all of their friends because honestly you are all the biggest part of this family and I am so glad to know all of you both near and far. Because of all the people who love these guys, they continue to grow and reward us for loving them by sharing their music with all of us. They get us all out on the dancefloor and let me tell you, as far as I am concerned that was difficult. Now, I cannot stop grooving even if it is behind the booth. Thank you Tony, James and Gabe for sharing this all with us. We appreciate you and look forward to what is yet to come!

The Musings and Adventures of Ti: Polar Bear's Pop Culture Shop Adventures

The Musings and Adventures of Ti: Polar Bear's Pop Culture Shop Adventures: A few years ago we met a cool ass dude named Jason. He sold toys and other cool collectibles. To be fair, James met him first....I met him a...

Polar Bear's Pop Culture Shop Adventures

A few years ago we met a cool ass dude named Jason. He sold toys and other cool collectibles. To be fair, James met him first....I met him a little later on. He set up toy shows (EPIC Toy Show) and James along with his friends went to check it out ( I was busy working at my boring hospital job haha). James came back from the show very excited! I shared in his excitement over a new venue to check out in this fantastic toy community that exists in Phoenix and the surrounding areas. We continued to support his hustle when he did live Facebook sales and the like. As I have mentioned inother stories, James and I have been partners for some time already with selling and buying and trading cool stuff. Turns out this dude is way cooler than I thought. He was working in a career as well but loves all things pop culture and nostalgia in the toy arena, so naturally we all had something in common and the side hustle for all of us was taking different directions ( some not so lucrative) due to the new "norm" with the Covid outbreak. James and Jason spoke regularly, speaking frequently about goals and visions and dreams....sometimes under hushed tones in a corner table in an asian dining spot...sometimes over the phone and then a momentous time when a HUGE PowerRangers lot was purchased. A bond was forming...and that was pretty rad. As time moves forward, visions come to light, trust is built and bonds are forged. Jason took a leap and decided that he was leaving the corporate World and wanted to open a toy shop! I mean....how cool is that?? James and I had mentioned it a time or two in our daily discussions as well but at that time we were content with the avenues we were on. It seemed like something was rotating and moving along a different axle. So....a partnership was offered to James which included myself, discussions were had and the final decision happened. We were so excited for Jason on his decision to follow his dream! I mean, who doesn't want to experience as much of our dreams as we can right? Jason, along with his whole family were moving into a new chapter and the coolest part is that James and I were asked to participate. Jason and James worked so hard to bring the vision to light...there really is so much that goes into opening your own shop. And I know that happiness, frustration, determination and drive are what brought this to a reality. They worked day and night, installing, painting, sweeping, scrubbing and going on missions to find the shelves and cases to go into the shop. Finally, the shop had a set opening day! It all seemed to happen quickly, it kinda did. Opening day was set for February 28th, 2021. Opening day was amazing! Strong family support, strong community support. We had so much fun that day! The shop has just celebrated 2 years a few months ago. And what atwo years it has been. During the course of the two years, the EPIC Toy show has taken off (this is the show that Jason was putting on before the shop came into fruition), one is put on every few months give or take. The shop has been featured on FOX10 News 3 times. Many articles have been written. Celebrities have popped in both expectedly and unexpectedly. I will not name drop lol but if you check out the Instagram page, you will see. We participate in other local toy shows and Pop Ups, s we all believe in supporting the community. We participate in Toy drives and Water drives and School drives too! Not enough can be said really about this amazing shop. Jason is a stand up dude, he has a great ideas always working in his mind. James has vision and he and Jason work daily to bring those ideas around to reality. They make a great pair and the shop is always a cool place to visit. The guys are well known as cool, fair, stand up, honest people and everyone that comes in the door is made ti feel welcome. Weekly raffles take place for cool prizes as a thank you to all of those that come through and show love to the shop and support the place. Without strong support, this would not be a reality. Regular sales happen and special events as well. A parking lot takeover has been known to happen with DJ's (The Phoenix Funkeros and friends) and bomb ass food courtesty of Sabor a Mi. We strongly suppport the community that supports others. And it really shows in the way this shop is run. Jason, you are the coolest dude around. Thank you to your family for allowing us to hold space in your dream. I want to thank you for allowing James a place in your vision, I want to thank you for allowing me to be a part of something so cool. We look forward to what the future holds and to next adventure.....which just so happens to be another EPIC Toy Show on April 29th at the El Zaribah Shrine. If you have not been to the shop yet, take a trip over there and immerse yourself in memories of childhood. The shop is located in Tempe at 2240 N Scottsdale Rd, Suite 102 Tempe, AZ 85288...just a hop skip and a jump North of the 202 East Freeway. Stay tuned for more adventures, laughs, fun and entertainment.

A Decade Has Passed

Story time with Ti Been awhile, I know, but now is a good time to share as the words have been swirling for some time and that means I need to let them loose. Coming out of something that I had only begun to admit to myself let alone anyone else. You see, abuse was normal my whole life, I never saw it as anything different and surely thought I somehow deserved it. When I finally put on a brave face and walked away from that abuse, I was scared and uncertain and not sure that I should. I felt like I should stay there, at least it was familiar. But, I knew that it was my only chance to end it or the next thing ending would be my life. So, I walked away. I then was alone ( as best as I could be. I was still being harassed and stalked from afar) But I was relatively free, not from my own thoughts but free nonetheless. For quite awile it seemed as if I was spiraling out of control. Living life by the seat of my pants so to speak and pretty much just existing. Something was missing, something was "off". I did not realize that it was I who was "off". I started writing furiously, words flooding from my mind like water over a spillway. I could not shut them off. Then, I began to paint. The paintings turned into writing boards that the emotionally charged words would find their way onto canvas and paper boards. The writings back then were so much darker than today. The words were poison draining out of wounds inflicted over a lifetime. And so this is how the changes began. This is how one person in particular struck a nerve so deep that I was suddenly shaken to my core. 10 years ago, I did not see an escape. 10 years ago, I saw no hope. 10 years ago, I saw no future. You see, I was a different girl for sure. I had a different mindset for sure. I was clinging to existence yet keeping an ever brave face. If you know me, yeah that is normal. I was a ball of internal chaos with a life to match. In debt up to my ears, taking on a car loan was the LAST thing that I needed at the time. It seemed logical at the time but really, honestly, my intentions were not my own. I had found myself living for others as I almost always have. Never was one to live for myself. I never found myself important enough for that. I always thought that pleasing others would bring me joy, still getting smacked in the face with that reality, believe me. It brings no joy to me and the people I wish to keep happy usually end up taking advantage, betraying me or ignoring me. Never one to give up, I still pursued these twisted thoughts. I think back to those days fondly, even though I know it was a ball of confusion for everyone involved in my life. Especially my children. They had to handle more than they ever should have, they saw more than any child should ever see, they watched their mother fall apart and could not help me, which no child should ever see. I was growing though. I was learning that I had a voice. I was learning to trust myself a little more. Many, many mistakes were made 10 years ago. I have made amends to those necessary. I have made amends to myself, forgiving myself in that process. Forgiving oneself is one of the most difficult things to do. Learning to love yourself and find yourself worthy of love is a completely different struggle and one that I still struggle with to this day, but I have gotten better. I have learned to be a little nicer to myself these days. So this little, simple minded woman was learning that there much larger things out in this wolrd that would crush you silently. Venomous smiles, cruel intentions and people who target the weak willed. I was fortunate to have met an amazing person. In turn, meeting some more amazing people. And try as I might, I could not drive them away. I tried so hard to make myself invisible so that they would leave. I tried to tell myself that I was not worthy of decent people in my life. I thank every single one of you who have touched my life. I thank every single one of you who loved me when I could not love myself. Most importantly, I thank every single one of you who have helped me either by "helping" or by turning your back on me so that I could "learn", you helped me the most. You taught me more than you know. While chaos was swirling around me, I found peace in this person. While chaos was trying to cripple me, I found solace in new friends. While chaos was ripping my family to pieces, I knew the pieces would land as they were meant to. I had to learn to be quiet, I had to learn to accept, I had to learn to trust. I was still alive. I was still standing. I was still trying. I am looking fondly on how far I have come in a decade. How much I have grown, evolved and changed. I am very happy with the changes. I am happy with the good, the bad and the indifferent that have come throught these years. Still no regrets, only wishes for having used my brain a little better, shielded my soul and protected my heart a little better. I learned in a decade: to budget, to be financially aware, to make better decisions, to stand my ground, to use my voice, to create and share, to speak up, to laugh more, to love harder, to smile more, to be silly, to be lenient, to be happy and know that I deserve it. I have learned survival, I have also learned self reliance. Most importantly, I thank my children for saving me from myself, for forgiving me, for keeping me young, for keeping me grounded and for being in my life, I love you both more than you may ever know. You have both shown me a World I never knew existed and a love that I never knew before. You have both grown so much and risen above the traumas seen and experienced. You two are the best part of me. And, thank you to that special friend that I met a decade ago. You have shown me more than anyone could have ever done, you have cared for me more than many and you have given me the freedom to just be....Ti. Thank you to all who have read this far. Thank you to all who encourage me daily. Thank you to all who love me as I am. Thank you all for being a part of my World. Here is to the next 10 years. With this I leave you with Peace, Love and Happiness Ti

Housing Fiasco

Hey there! Just wanted to touch a little bit about the current housing issue. Having recently been in a very comfortable situation, I was relaxed and not worried about a roof over my head. You get comfy and secure in knowing that you have everything together. I mean, for the first time in my entire life I have lived at one address for just shy of 9 years, and believe me, it is a shock to think about it still. I do believe at last count I had roughly 50 different addresses over the course of my decades on Earth thus far. We do not have it bad here, the house is far from perfect, the neighborhood has it's entertaining moments, but the location and convenience and price are right. All in one swooping moment, chaos swept in a suddenly we were faced with having to find a new place to reside. Piece of cake right? Wrong! Forgetting that this country is in the throes of a huge financial crisis which is affecting jobs, housing, food, gas and everything else that you can think of. I dove head first into house hunting. And, let me tell you, I got a headache. Stress became the norm for me everyday. As the time grew shorter and my deadline was looming, my money was dwindling from paying for application fees deemed fair by greedy brokerage firms. They make money off of every application submitted and the fee is per applicant. Let us not forget the same lofty standards set by these companies that demand that your credit score be over 650, again per applicant as well as making 3 times the rental price. Now in todays' market, that is an averagerental price of $1900 per month, your monthly income has to be at least $5700. Get the hell out of here with that BS! I know people who have great jobs and do not make that kind of money. And here we are in the great state of Arizona where the cost of living does not raise to meet higher cost of living standards and do not forget that inflation rate in Arizona is than other states. Everything has gone up at an average of 1% monthly. Gone are the days of being able to talk to a homeowner and rent a place. Gone are the days of going into a rental community and filling out a reasonable application. What are we to do? Where do you go when faced with this? There are no easy answers and there are no easy solutions. On a personal level, I had of course the nagging thoughts that we would have to move in with someone, thusly splitting up the household. I had nagging thoughts of having to move so far away that all things including employment would be in question. I am sure that so many people are facing this situation. I am sure that so many people cannot afford to move. I am sure that is why the homeless community has become even more critical. I am sure that is why many now resort to living in their vehicles. I am sure that is why we are now allowing tent cities to pop up in Phoenix. I am sure that is why we are in a crisis that seems undending. What can be done? What can we do? I personally am waiting to see the market crash. I personally am waiting to see more desperate times. I personally am praying for the break that everyone so deserves. I am fortunate that I am no longer stressed about looking for a place, I now have a year to focus on that move. I am prepared now, this I know. So many others are not as fortunate and are desperately searching for a place to call their own, a roof over their heads and food in their bellies. Please keep everyone out there in desperation in your thoughts and prayers. Please be kind, you never know how close someone is to a breaking point. Please be a little more patient and be a little more understanding. If you see someone struggling, ask them if they are hungry, if they need water, if they need a list of community resources. A little goes a long way. One last note, remember to be grateful for what you have, you never know when it could be taken away from you. Remember to keep kindness in your heart. Remember to be focused and keep striving for your betterment. Thanks for listening. I leave you with peace and love always Ti

The Old Lady in the Blue House

This is storytime...... On my drive home from work, I most days would avoid the freeway and just take surface streets home. This started years ago when I realized that I spent the same amount of time traveling either way, but with less stress. On Thomas Road, I would pass by a little blue house on the corner. More times than none, I would catch the light and have to sit there at the red light. At least 3 days out of the 5, there would be an elderly woman outside. She walked with a hunch. She pushed around her wheelchair in her tiny yard. Her beautiful white hair was usually messed up and falling into her face. She always wore sweat shorts, a tank top two sizes too big and sandals, no matter the weather. I was captivated by her. Many times I wanted to stop, park and go have a conversation with her. She looked like she had many stories residing within the confines of her mind. I do not know why I never did, maybe I just wanted this to remain a fascination and not a fact...make sense? The house is a little one, intricate wooden shutters with hand carved swirls. Fake snow still clinging to the windows from a Christmas past. In the carport, her gardening tools were stacked neatly on one wall. Her yard was beautiful. You could tell by just looking at her walk gingerly through the yard, that she cared for it all by herself. Her yard was a beautiful mix of various cacti, roses, two beautiful treea and rock walls in different designs painted the same color blue as the house. I would catch her trimming the tree, watering the plants and shuffling around with her potting soil and other garden gadgets on her wheelchair. I imagined many stories in my mind. Was she married? If she is, is her husband inside that tiny little house watching TV? Does she have grand children? The storyteller in me already has a story visualized in my mind of course. There were days when I would not see her and I would get a little lump in my throat, hoping that all was well for her. I found a great comfort in seeing her and I also looked forward to catching the red light, it made me smile. So, I changed jobs briefly and did not see the lady in the blue house for quite some time. Luckily, the job only lasted briefly and I was once again free to drive my "normal" route home. One day, something changed. Something was off. I noticed that her tools were no longer in the carport, on one occasion. On another occasion, I noticed that her wheelchair was gone. Thoughts raced through my mind.....I was sad. Then, I noticed that her lovely little yard was drying out and unkept. I had a sinking feeling in the pit of my stomach. I never did see her again, my mind raced with scenarios...none of which made me feel comforted. Next time that I drove by her house, there were strangers in her carport and a dumpster in the front yard. Well, my heart sank. Of course this could have been her family, but I still felt like they had violated her space. This week it just so happens that there has been a turn in the story. I pulled up to the red light and gasped. Her lovely trees had been ripped out of the ground and thrown in a dumpster! Her roses were gone! But the sight that hit me in the heart and brought a tear to my eye was this, they crushed her rock walls with the same mini Bobcat that had destroyed the rest of the yard. My heart hurt seeing the piles of crushed blue rocks covered in dirt and left in piles. Discarded like trash. Crumbled memories. I had held out hope that if that was her family, they would have kept the quaint little yard with the bench under the shade of the larger tree. But alas, I do believe that the beautiful little blue house will get a facelift for a more "modern" look to keep the neighborhood looking some sort of way. I know this is a sad story but it is one that I felt the need to share. It also reminds me that I was able to share peaceful moments thanks to the little old lady in the little blue house. Thank you dear stranger for bringing many smiles to my face, thank you for helping me have a creative story to tell today and thank you for allowing a glimpse into your world. I wish you peace and beauty wherever it is that you may be. Thank you for listening to my stories. Remember to always be thankful for the little things in this life that others so frequently ignore. I leave you with peace, love and light.

Memories in Music

Well hello again! It has been a minute has it not?? We have had a couple of crazy years for sure. Things have happened that I never imagined seeing in my lifetime yet alone the lifetimes of my children....but hey, here we are. Still perservering. Thankful for every day that welcomes me. I wanted to do a little walk down memory lane. My memory gets fuzzy somedays but others it is pretty good and these are great memories so why not share them? My first concert (that I willingly went to) was in my 8th grade year in Philadelphia, PA. It was Twisted Sister with Joan Jett and The Blackhearts opening the show. My step sister Jamie and I were gifted the tickets for our birthdays. I remember getting ready in our attic bedroom....two giggly teens playing with colored hairspray, glitter and makeup (rare, as my Dad did not allow me to wear that) We wore jeans and oversize shirts and teased out short hair as high as we could. I remember being so nervous on the way and my Dad kept telling us how to be safe in the big city of Philly ( he was dropping us off and going to do journalist stuff while we had the concert). He took us to the Rocky steps as well so it was way cool. We got into the stadium and went to the merch table, we bought the tour books, pins and a bumper sticker. With dreams of meeting the band, we made our way to the seats. I was overcome with excitement! It was huge and jam packed with people. We giggled and jumped up and down in anticipation. Soon, the lights dimmed and my first girl crush stepped out onto the stage....she belted out "I Love Rock n' Roll" and I was screaming along with a sea of other voices. By the time they finished their set...I was already deaf and hoarse. The band bowed and Joan Jett exited the stage. I sat eagerly awaiting Twisted Sister and anticipating a glimpse of Eddie "Fingers" Ojeda (my band member crush at the time). Lights dimmed, neon lights flashed across the stage and all you heard was the magical scream of Dee Snider blast through the building. We all screamed, I cried and we jumped up and down. All you saw was a sea of fists raised into the air, pumping along to the music. He egged the crowd on, having us participate with the song. I was crying from excitement...this was the most fun that I had ever had in my young life. This was 1984, prime time to be experiencing hair bands. The concert went on, my step sister and I kept saying how amazing this was and that we were grown now haha. The concert came to an end, they did an encore for the roaring crowd and we then had to make our way in a sea of people to find my Dad who was waiting somewhere on the street. We went outside into the chilly winter night. Looking everywhere for my Dad, I did not see him and had a moment of panic. Two little girls in a big city, scary times. Finally I heard my name and turned around and there was my Dad. We got in and he asked us all about it. We were giddy and giggly and excited teenage girls, he actually humored us (this was rare). When we got home, we cleaned up and went to bed. We stayed up all night talking about this concert, this was really a moment of bonding for us as we rarely got along. I can still remeber the feeling of each moment of that night, still makes me smile. This concert fueled quite an obsession for me in regards to concert going (and hair bands haha). No concert is quite as memorable as your first. I have been to so many. At one point I had all of my concert tickets stubs, tour books, pins and t shirts from each of my concerts. Sadly a storage unit mishap with a disgruntled idiot took those memories, but the ones imbedded in my brain are permanently lodged in the nooks and crannies of days gone by. Let's see......I think now I will do a quick run down of the ones that I went to. I am proud to say that I was able to see all of the great hair bands in the 80's and some very cool notable shows sprinkled throughout the 90's and into the 2000's. Some of these bands played together but I could not for the life of me remember the order so you get a list. There is no order to these concerts as they are sprinkled throughout my life thus far, so here I go....let's see how many of you went to see any of these shows. Twisted Sister w/ Joan Jett and The Blackhearts Bon Jovi Cinderella AC/DC Warrant Great White Tesla Motely Crue (the spinning drum set one) w/ Whitesnake, Poison, Jet Boy Poison Dokken Robert Plant Jimmy Page (w/ Jason Bonham on drums) Scorpions (most memorable concert while being under the influence) Tesla Aerosmith (Dream On still holds different meaning to me to this day) Red Hot Chili Peppers (after Kiedis cut the hair...sad day in fan history lol) Marc Anthony (long hair and karate chop moves on stage.....we are talking 1995 maybe?) ZZ Top (thanks to some great dudes, I was able to fulfill a lifelong dream to hear TUSH live) All American Rejects (helps to be a parent of a teenage girl) Fallout Boy (again, pays to be a parent of a teenage girl) Old School Jam which included Rose Royce, Zapp and Cameo to name a few (I was gifted these tickets by 104.3 radio on Mothers Day) Evanescence (more specifically Amy Lee with an orchestra- one of the best moments in concert going for me) Brother Ali (another dream of mine, gifted to me by a person with whom I was once very close to). There may be some that I have missed as the 80's could be a blur sometimes. There are numerous outdoor concerts that I have been to that I could not tell you who it was that I saw before they became famous. The concerts have all shaped me and gave me a different love of music. Some hitting me so hard that now when I hear a familiar song it hits me in my gut. I do have some concerts that I missed out on (and kick myself pretty hard now) or that I should have gone to when offered the opportunity (I was to chicken shit to follow through on the plans) Prince was a coulda shoulda woulda, Beastie Boys, Digital Underground (before they were a household name), David Bowie, Red Hot Chili Peppers (when they were a up and coming band, playing at a dive bar in San Francisco), Metallica, George Clinton, Erykah Badu, Jill Scott, Boys To Men....soooooo many to speak of, sadly. I will say that the memories of these shows are cherished and I hold them all near to my heart. I still remember who I went with, what I wore, where I was, and of course there are some crazy ass stories that go along with each and every single show. I was a bit of a wild child. Those moments are what make me glad that I grew up when I did and that we did not have cell phones or social media, my quiet, good girl facade would have surely been exposed. Concerts were a chance for me to come out of my shell and let loose from my normal icy exterior. Thank you for going down this memory lane with me. I hope it made you chuckle. If you were with me at one of those shows, I hope it gave you some good memories. I hope it made you reflect on the shows that you have gone to. We all need great memories to reflect on, it can bring a smile to your face when you least expect it. Here is to future music shows, the people that you share them moment with and to all the musicians out there bringing the joy to all of us! Until next time....thank you for reading and I will be sharing more random memories soon. Peace, Love, Unity and Happiness

"An Act of Treason" Episode 6 on "The United States of America"

Yesterday I witnessed something that I never thought that I would see in my lifetime. An act of treason. Do not get me wrong, I am all for protesting the inner workings of our government and its lopsided policies. I am all for standing up for what you believe in. I am all for sticking it to the government that so easily sticks it to us. Yesterday on the daily melodramatic episode of "The United States of America" we saw in full color what white privilege is, not that we have never seen it before mind you....but this episode took the cake. We had thousands storm the Capital Building. They trampled through barricades that were not fully protected by Capital police. They stormed through the Capital building, which is usually dripping in security, that some say is impenetrable. They stormed through offices of our lawmakers. They destroyed property, they broke windows, they threw pepper spray, they proudly raised their flags that signify their hatred, they took selfies with the law enforcement that not too long ago were guarding the building (and very curiously were stated to not have enough of), they rallied together as one agitated mass over an election that they think was stolen from their president (the very president who is an actor). An election that signified the need for change and people rose to the occasion through adversity and a pandemic to make a path for those changes. How can you not look at this in any other way than privilege? Look at all of the violence commited by law enforcement during PEACEFUL protests over the course of history, most noteably within the last 12 months. If this were a crowd of Black Lives Matter protesters, Water Defenders or Environment protectors there would have been murders, beatings, torture in vehicles with tinted windows, arrests...and I guarantee that no one would have taken a selfie in the speaker’s office. Do you believe that there would have only been four deaths? Do you believe that they would have been shorthanded with law enforcement? Do you think that the law enforcement would have stopped to take a selfie with a protester? Do you believe that there would have been nothing short of a massacre? The state of our Country has been under hostile leadership for 4 years, leadership that has been shaped and formed to honor those that support that leadership. If you do not adhere to those leaders policies, you are suddenly out of work and deemed crazy or anti American. The state of this Country has been a mess for as long as I can remember so again, this is not a new issue. All of the proof is with the families that are mourning those that lives were taken from them for standing up for themselves and for others. All of the proof is evident by people of color who have lost their lives minding their own business. All of the proof is evident in how very lopsided the justice system is. All of the proof is evident in the laws that were written that protect the people who stormed the Capital. All of the proof is evident by the (pre-approved) photographs gracing the pages of those popular magazines and newspapers and media outlets for all of us to see. All of the proof is in our faces. This is nothing new. This country was formed in violence, prejudice, hatred and seperation of class. This country was formed in blood of the lives that they took to gain control of others that they saw as different. So yes, in a way we are not shocked. We now should take steps to change. We now should take steps to accept. We now should take steps to heal. I have so much more to say however, I am at a loss for words since there are millions of them floating around in this mind of mine.

A Dog's Life, In Memory Of Bonkers

You came into our world 11/19/2006 from the County Animal Shelter with no idea of what your story was. You left our world 5/24/2020 in your living room with a story to leave behind.
I am healing from the pain of a loss that I never have felt in my life. A loss that rocked me to my core.
I am constantly reminded of you as I have social media memories that pop up daily. I have your ashes on my shelf and have one of your favorite babies on my shelf. Lovely people that you made friends with have created art and you even have a pin,a magnet and sticker now! You taught lessons, you created peace, you made us laugh and you made us cry.
I miss you more than words will ever be able to express but I am so full of love and great memories of you. A great friend of yours named Moes felt pressure to make a drawing of you that served your memory well. Chuck and James painted a mural of your beautiful face. Pedro has a Bonkers shelf. Bri wrote a lovely memory. Jason even made you into one of his famous uni cycles. You touched so many of us and we are eternally grateful for the gift of your friendship and undying love.
Thank you for being a wonderful friend, a healer, a comedian and for keeping us on our toes for all of the years that we had you. I am eternally grateful that I looked in your eyes all of those years ago and decided that you needed to be saved, you in turn saved me. I love you big dog....may you be eternally happy and digging holes, running free and munching on treats.
Thank you to everyone who has immortalized him in some way and who will contribute to the book that will be written (this is taking time since every time I write, I have to wipe away tears which is pretty hard to write seeing through those). I appreciate each and every one of you more than you know