The Melancholy Musings of a Misfit Girl

Good day people! I am writing this week on a subject that is near and dear to me. I, as most of you know by now, am a writer by nature. It embodies so much of me that my early memories go back as far as age 5. I used to write letters to my imaginary friend Deena, also I would write little stories and sing songs that I had made up the words to. I was a shy, solitary child. I was clumsy and always unsure of myself. I found when I disappeared into reading and writing and singing, nothing could touch me. I could blend into the words and leave wherever I was. Strange thing is that I had an innate ability to disappear into my surroundings, I actually am able to do this quite easily still to this day. I loved to read, well I still do. And back then, I absorbed everything that I could read including cereal boxes and milk jugs. I was reading newspapers as early as age 7 and encyclopedias by age 8, wanting to be smart like my mom and dad. At age 10 I would write and sing songs and then record them on my cassette recorder. I made friends easily but usually picked the wrong friends. I had a few very dear friends during my younger years and they were misfits just like me. Something that I learned from a young age is that some of the best people in the world were always considered odd, weird, nerds, outcasts and the like. This has given me some of the most amazing friends in the world that I still have to this day along with the new ones that I have made over the years. I just find that people who are down to Earth and unafraid to be different are more genuine and accepting. I am grateful that there are so many in this world, otherwise who knows if this planet would still exist. We have enough problems, but imagine how bad it could be.
So here we will get back into the writing. I have many notebooks and sketch pads full of poems, prose, doodles, sketches, short stories and free writes. I had at one point dreamed of publishing a book. I also have submitted my writings to various publishers, magazines and publications which has led to a folder full of rejection letters. Now, the rejection letters did not deter me from writing and did not stop me from looking into other outlets to share my writing. I do not get crushed from rejection, especially when someone gives me pointers and constructive criticism. I take the advice and absorb it like a sponge. I go back to what I wrote, read it and let it resonate within me and then I will tweak it, not with all of them of course because again, they are my words and some will only be for my eyes. I hope that my words can reach others in many ways. I hope that for some it gives them joy, peace, strength, inspiration and courage. Everyone will take away what is specific to them and others of course it may mean nothing at all and to that I am alright with. I realize that some people do not get touched by words but stick with only visual stimulation. By understanding this it has led me to another path. I am so very proud of myself for finally beginning to find the outlet that I have been seeking. By showing vulnerability, by being positive when the negative wants to take over (which sometimes does happen) and more importantly believing in myself, I have realized that there is an audience out there waiting.
So, what has happened most recently is I have written and produced a Zine. A Zine for those of you that do not know is a small publication like a magazine but smaller. There is no rhyme or reason, there is no right or wrong to how it must be. It is a perfect outlet for people who have something to say and are not ready or have no desire to publish a novel, a book of poetry or what have you. They come in all different shapes, colors, styles and forms (just like people).
I chose to hand write mine and spread little illustrations of flowers and like throughout the pages. There is also a page of positive affirmations that I free wrote out of my head and decided to add it to the Zine. I titled it " The Melancholy Musings of a Misfit Girl" which is a title that is very personal to me. I have spent a large majority of my life swimming in melancholy thoughts and actions. There is a reason that people thought of me as Eeyore and I guess that is also why he was my favorite character for most of my life, I could relate to him. Even though I smiled and had a good time, I was weighed heavy with sadness, self doubt and fear. I have come so far from who I was that the melancholy musings are now turning more and more into inspirational words. I decided to produce the first Zine as my melancholy writings which will lead into the positive ones. My next one will be uplifting, full of happiness and vibrant colors and of course, good vibes.
I was drawn to a local place in Phoenix called Wasted Ink Zine Distro thanks to Instagram and following local businesses and writers, as you all know how much I support local! I went to visit there for the very first time and perused the shelves. There was something for everyone! The shop is quaint, warm and welcoming. There are little baby Zines hanging on the walls with colorful string and paperclips. There are Zines on shelves and on top of bookcases. There are stickers, buttons, handmade cards (better than Hallmark) and so much more! I fell in love instantly. I asked the young lady how to submit a Zine to the shop. I took the leap! She was so helpful and supportive and super excited! I knew at that moment what I needed to do. I had a place for my words to flourish under someones watchful, loving eye. I went home and took out all of my books and selected the prose that I felt would make a great debut. With help from a friend, I got the paper the size that I envisioned. With encouragement from the few that I told, I went forward. I completed my Zine and put all of my love into creating it. Again, with the help of my friend, I then had copies made to submit to Wasted Ink. After a little bit of time to gather myself together, I prepared the package. I emailed Charissa, the founder and owner of Wasted Ink Zine. I was making sure to cross the T's and dot the I's. She was so amazing and helpful and welcoming that I knew I had to go get it in there. Then one bright, sunny day I grabbed the paperwork, the Zines and went to Wasted Ink along with my biggest supporter and side kick, my daughter Bri. She is always there by my side and is along on this crazy journey with me.
I walked into the shop and spoke with Denise. She actually remembered me from the first time that I had gone into the shop! She was very helpful and made sure that I had everything that I needed to get my paperwork off to Charissa. After all was said and done, I felt like I was walking on air. It was such a feeling of elation. A bright light was bouncing around inside of me and I felt like everyone could see it. Now if that is not a rush, I do not know what is.
A short time later, I received notice on my Instagram that my Zine was getting put on the shelves! Another amazing feeling believe me. My Zine was featured in a most amazing photo in a plant and surrounded by green and brown earthy hues that wrapped it in it's warm embrace. I shared my good news with everyone and now I am super inspired to work on the next one. I even had the opportunity to share my news and the information on the airwaves through my friends on KDIF 102.9 FM local South Phoenix radio. My friend Angelica aka RoseWax Vinyl Club has provided me an outlet to read my poetry live on her Sunday broadcast. I have read a few times but this time, I was also interviewed and read from the Zine. I also of course let everyone know where they could find the shop since it is so cool! You can check out KDIF on kdif.org or tune in for one of the many programs on 102.9 FM which streams live on kdif.org if you are not in listening range.
After my trial one, I am going to make some format changes and add more writings. I am excited to see what happens next. Thank you Charissa! Thank you Denise! And thanks to WastedInk Zine Distro and the arts and the local scene that encourages individuality and the format for people to pursue a dream.
You can catch Wasted Ink on Instagram: Wasted Ink Zine Distro and on Facebook: Wasted Ink Zine Distro. And of course,through their website: wizd-az.com
Peace, Love and Happiness always kids! Follow your path and do what brings you joy <3

An adventure at First Friday with my Art Crew at SNOH Ice Shavery

This post is about...shock...the ARTS! I cannot stress it to you enough how important the arts are in our community. The art classes in schools are being fazed out and made smaller and less important. Art is the most powerful form of self expression, it can heal us, harm us, frighten us, lift us up and so much more! I myself am a writer and I love to draw. This has helped me to find a voice within myself that was hiding. This has also helped me to find strength that I never knew that I had. I have faced fears, expressed myself and healed myself from it.
This past Friday, I had the pleasure of supporting and hanging out with some amazing artists. The gathering was in downtown Phoenix at SNOH Ice Shavery for the monthly First Friday event. SNOH Ice Shavery has been a great supporter of local businesses, local artists, local chefs, musicians and so much more! Ireally love the vibe there as it is a positive environment, family friendly, upbeat and lively place to be. It does not hurt that they offer BOMB desserts and Boba and Tea and more desserts.
In attendance at the event this month I accompanied my friends and fantastic local talent to keep the art scene alive in Phoenix. My friend Durokski set up the line up and it was fantastic! Durok had graffiti art, canvas art and photos. My friends Siek, Julio and Mario aka 3S were set up with T shirts, Original Artwork and stickers that feature original artwork. My friend Ray aka Primo Craftworks was set up with his custom handmade canvases. Just a little background information on the artists that I just named. Durok is an amazing DJ, blogwriter and artist and all around talented, approachable guy. Rey is from South Phoenix and his canvases are affordable and great quality. Siek, Julio and Mario are from South Phoenix as well and all have amazing talent. The best thing about these guys is that they believe in community, quality craftsmanship, giving back and supporting each other and others to be the best that they can be.
Also as I meandered around the event I met some amazing local artists that I had previously only seen around town but had never had the pleasure of meeting. I purchased a shirt from Imagine Thread Co which was designed by local artist ark9one, and it is HOT! It is Pennywise the clown, so dope! Ark9One was painting live and what a production indeed. Chuck the Rippa painted live and did a great rendition of Cuphead. Local artist Enuf was also painting live. LetterJunkies was set up with stickers, apparel and more! And wow...the lettering is phenomenal! There were food vendors and one was serving up some awesome Elote in a cup, the best I have had in forever! Also, had to get the hook up with Thai Tea and Boba from Snoh, best stuff around!
Now that I have filled you in on all the great talent, I just want to touch a little bit more on how important it is to support our local artists. They are family, friends, members of our community, neighbors and people from all over our great city of Phoenix. I wholeheartedly support my local artists. They have provided me with not only great artwork to fill my home but they have become some of my most dear friends.
All of the above mentioned can be found on social media such as Instagram and Facebook. siek_von_doom, durokism, _mario_3s, primocraftworks, letterjunkies, ark9one, imaginethreadco, snohiceshavery. Check them out, if you see something you like let them know. Support local everything!! Peace out my fine people!