I just feel the need at this point to share my feelings. I just need to write this out. I just need to share this with the World.
Realizing that life is precious has me feeling some sort of way. Realizing that we are not promised tomorrow but more than that we are not promised the next minute. I have seen too many of my friends, loved ones, neighbors and community members die due to violence, illness and accidents. Obviously we cannot prevent accidents or some illness but we can prevent violent endings. It lies in OUR hands. The sooner that we realize that we do not have to give in to the AGENDA, the better for humanity.
You NEVER know when life can end. You NEVER know if this is the last time that you can say I love you to someone, or to hold your child or to comfort your friend.
Our current state is in disarray, I mean let's face it though, it has been since the Europeans settled here and changed this land. Coming in and destroying land, oppressing the people, creating greed and terror.
No different than today right?
The current government has created a hailstorm of hatred by not denouncing it. They just go along with it. Our president (the actor) has played both sides of the fence. In one breath he denounces killing and racism and blah blah blah and then in his next public outing he cheers while people chant "send her back"
If our "leaders" act like masochistic, racist, hateful bullies then that in turn gives people the green light to act the same way. You see when a person who is in charge condones certain behaviors, then the people will act in accordance. Think about this for one moment. As a parent, my children viewed me as "in charge" I cuss, alot. So, my children saw that all through their lives. So, in turn they cuss. I ate junk food, they ate junk food. I stayed up late, they stayed up late. No boundaries were set. Do you see my point?
I am so very tired of reading about more killing, more desecration, more destruction and more tearing down of our families. I am tired of seeing my communities ripped apart by separation. I am tired of seeing our people being killed. I am tired of seeing my neighbors taken away from their families while they are working jobs that most Americans would NEVER do! I am tired of our communities being divided due to racism. I am tired of our family units being destroyed. I am just TIRED!!
It is time for all people to stand up and fight against the powers trying to divide us! It is time for all races to unite and stand against the powers trying to make us hate one another. It is time for us to unite as ONE people to defy the powers that want to destroy us! Before this gets worse than it is and believe me it CAN and WILL get worse! Denial brought forth by people in power and media outlets who deny that racism is not a problem, are feeding fuel to an already large fire. This is eerily similar to those that denied that the Holocaust was not real. This is eerily similar to those that downplayed how bad Slavery was. This is eerily similar to those that IGNORED what was happening during the height of the Civil Rights movement.
Genocide is upon us. Look at the 10 stages:
What are the 10 stages of genocide?
Stages 1, 2, 3: Classification, symbolization and discrimination
Stage 4: Dehumanization
Stage 5: Organization
Stage 6: Polarization
Stage 7: Preparation
Stage 8: Persecution
Stage 9: Extermination
Stage 10: Denial
We have people in power telling us through media that Racism is not a problem. That hatred is not being condoned. I call BULLSHIT. It is evident in how many mass shootings are being carried out by white men who just so happen to have hateful rhetoric in notebooks and computers in their homes. Who are able to purchase semi automatic weapons but then they are supposedly mentally ill. Mental illness is not an excuse to commit murder. And mental illness is not something to throw out there as an excuse to get away with committing murder. On the other hand we have people of color being shot for having a phone, for tying their shoes, for having a busted tail light, for raising their voices??!! Where are our voices for the voiceless?! Where are our power in numbers?! We need to speak up, speak out and stand up for our rights...the rights of humanity as a whole! We need to come together now more than ever and FIGHT BACK!
Believe me, I was educated on social issues at a young age. And I still take the time to educate myself because there are so many things that I do not know. I took the time to read about Slavery, The Holocaust, Civil Wars (both foreign and domestic), Civil Rights and Genocides through out the ages. I was a child at the age of 8 reading about Civil Rights while my friends laughed at me. My parents talked to us openly and without a filter on what really happened and how they had friends of all colors and had to hide it from their families. Can you imagine that? Can you put yourself in that position where someone would beat your ass if you brought home someone of color?! I cannot imagine that life and nor do I want to. My children are of mixed race and I never would want to experience hatred directed at them.
I am speaking out, I am speaking up and I am speaking loudly! I want to have a voice for the voiceless. I want to have an opinion for those who are too afraid to say theirs. I want to stand together with my community and stand alongside them in their fight. We NEED to stop what is happening in our country. We NEED to become accountable for OUR actions. We NEED to speak up! Period!!
Showing posts with label express yourself. Show all posts
Showing posts with label express yourself. Show all posts
Thursday, August 8, 2019
Thursday, January 3, 2019
Melancholy Musings Very Personal, Very Brief Year in Review
2018 was a helluva year! I don't do all of the "New Year Resolutions" but I will say that I will strive to grow, better myself, heal myself, love myself, love others, forgive, face fears and live life fully.
In one year I accomplished so much. In one years time I was able to face fears, write, forgive, make amends, move forward, love, practice patience a little more (this one is a challenge sometimes), make friends, walk away from toxic people and continue on a path to clear my spirit.
I produced 5 Zines, I participated (and sold a piece) in an art gallery show, I participated in First Friday events, I participated in Second Friday events, I participated in Art Festivals and a Zine Festival, I got stickers printed of my art and my photography, I produced Photo books and some included my poetry.
I supported my artist friends, I supported my DJ friends, I supported my foodie friends, I supported small business and local business, I supported my creatives out there by shouting their names from the rooftops, sharing their work with others or purchasing something from them.
I could never have accomplished as much as I did without those who have supported me and cheered me on. I am humbled by the people both near and far, close and distant strangers who always have a kind word or who are willing to help me along this journey. I appreciate you all.
I want to shout out to my daughter Briahna who is my biggest supporter, my rock, my side kick, my helper, my confidante, my counselor, my advisor, my daughter....without her I would be pretty lonely. She is a great help and a great spirit and silly as all hell, which makes me laugh even when I want to cry. Thank you Bri <3. I have made some amazing friends along the way and learned to appreciate them much more with each passing moment. I have strengthened bonds with those I hold dear and learned to appreciate what I have and who I have in my life more and more each day. I just want to say that anything is possible as long as you believe that you can do it. Anything is possible with hard work, determination and positive thought. This next year I will work towards what works for me, what feeds my soul. I will write more, no doubt about that. I will capture more beautiful moments. I will surround myself with nature and let that heal me. I will strengthen bonds and love fierce. The biggest goal that I have at this moment is to write a book. I do not know the subject, I do not know the size. That is what I see for this year thus far. Here is to living life, here is to loving life and here is to being true to you. Shout out to all of my friends and family for hanging around for another year and here is to many more! Peace, Love and Happiness....always!!
In one year I accomplished so much. In one years time I was able to face fears, write, forgive, make amends, move forward, love, practice patience a little more (this one is a challenge sometimes), make friends, walk away from toxic people and continue on a path to clear my spirit.
I produced 5 Zines, I participated (and sold a piece) in an art gallery show, I participated in First Friday events, I participated in Second Friday events, I participated in Art Festivals and a Zine Festival, I got stickers printed of my art and my photography, I produced Photo books and some included my poetry.
I supported my artist friends, I supported my DJ friends, I supported my foodie friends, I supported small business and local business, I supported my creatives out there by shouting their names from the rooftops, sharing their work with others or purchasing something from them.
I could never have accomplished as much as I did without those who have supported me and cheered me on. I am humbled by the people both near and far, close and distant strangers who always have a kind word or who are willing to help me along this journey. I appreciate you all.
I want to shout out to my daughter Briahna who is my biggest supporter, my rock, my side kick, my helper, my confidante, my counselor, my advisor, my daughter....without her I would be pretty lonely. She is a great help and a great spirit and silly as all hell, which makes me laugh even when I want to cry. Thank you Bri <3. I have made some amazing friends along the way and learned to appreciate them much more with each passing moment. I have strengthened bonds with those I hold dear and learned to appreciate what I have and who I have in my life more and more each day. I just want to say that anything is possible as long as you believe that you can do it. Anything is possible with hard work, determination and positive thought. This next year I will work towards what works for me, what feeds my soul. I will write more, no doubt about that. I will capture more beautiful moments. I will surround myself with nature and let that heal me. I will strengthen bonds and love fierce. The biggest goal that I have at this moment is to write a book. I do not know the subject, I do not know the size. That is what I see for this year thus far. Here is to living life, here is to loving life and here is to being true to you. Shout out to all of my friends and family for hanging around for another year and here is to many more! Peace, Love and Happiness....always!!
Wednesday, January 17, 2018
The Melancholy Musings of a Misfit Girl
Good day people! I am writing this week on a subject that is near and dear to me. I, as most of you know by now, am a writer by nature. It embodies so much of me that my early memories go back as far as age 5. I used to write letters to my imaginary friend Deena, also I would write little stories and sing songs that I had made up the words to. I was a shy, solitary child. I was clumsy and always unsure of myself. I found when I disappeared into reading and writing and singing, nothing could touch me. I could blend into the words and leave wherever I was. Strange thing is that I had an innate ability to disappear into my surroundings, I actually am able to do this quite easily still to this day. I loved to read, well I still do. And back then, I absorbed everything that I could read including cereal boxes and milk jugs. I was reading newspapers as early as age 7 and encyclopedias by age 8, wanting to be smart like my mom and dad. At age 10 I would write and sing songs and then record them on my cassette recorder. I made friends easily but usually picked the wrong friends. I had a few very dear friends during my younger years and they were misfits just like me. Something that I learned from a young age is that some of the best people in the world were always considered odd, weird, nerds, outcasts and the like. This has given me some of the most amazing friends in the world that I still have to this day along with the new ones that I have made over the years. I just find that people who are down to Earth and unafraid to be different are more genuine and accepting. I am grateful that there are so many in this world, otherwise who knows if this planet would still exist. We have enough problems, but imagine how bad it could be.
So here we will get back into the writing. I have many notebooks and sketch pads full of poems, prose, doodles, sketches, short stories and free writes. I had at one point dreamed of publishing a book. I also have submitted my writings to various publishers, magazines and publications which has led to a folder full of rejection letters. Now, the rejection letters did not deter me from writing and did not stop me from looking into other outlets to share my writing. I do not get crushed from rejection, especially when someone gives me pointers and constructive criticism. I take the advice and absorb it like a sponge. I go back to what I wrote, read it and let it resonate within me and then I will tweak it, not with all of them of course because again, they are my words and some will only be for my eyes. I hope that my words can reach others in many ways. I hope that for some it gives them joy, peace, strength, inspiration and courage. Everyone will take away what is specific to them and others of course it may mean nothing at all and to that I am alright with. I realize that some people do not get touched by words but stick with only visual stimulation. By understanding this it has led me to another path. I am so very proud of myself for finally beginning to find the outlet that I have been seeking. By showing vulnerability, by being positive when the negative wants to take over (which sometimes does happen) and more importantly believing in myself, I have realized that there is an audience out there waiting.
So, what has happened most recently is I have written and produced a Zine. A Zine for those of you that do not know is a small publication like a magazine but smaller. There is no rhyme or reason, there is no right or wrong to how it must be. It is a perfect outlet for people who have something to say and are not ready or have no desire to publish a novel, a book of poetry or what have you. They come in all different shapes, colors, styles and forms (just like people).
I chose to hand write mine and spread little illustrations of flowers and like throughout the pages. There is also a page of positive affirmations that I free wrote out of my head and decided to add it to the Zine. I titled it " The Melancholy Musings of a Misfit Girl" which is a title that is very personal to me. I have spent a large majority of my life swimming in melancholy thoughts and actions. There is a reason that people thought of me as Eeyore and I guess that is also why he was my favorite character for most of my life, I could relate to him. Even though I smiled and had a good time, I was weighed heavy with sadness, self doubt and fear. I have come so far from who I was that the melancholy musings are now turning more and more into inspirational words. I decided to produce the first Zine as my melancholy writings which will lead into the positive ones. My next one will be uplifting, full of happiness and vibrant colors and of course, good vibes.
I was drawn to a local place in Phoenix called Wasted Ink Zine Distro thanks to Instagram and following local businesses and writers, as you all know how much I support local! I went to visit there for the very first time and perused the shelves. There was something for everyone! The shop is quaint, warm and welcoming. There are little baby Zines hanging on the walls with colorful string and paperclips. There are Zines on shelves and on top of bookcases. There are stickers, buttons, handmade cards (better than Hallmark) and so much more! I fell in love instantly. I asked the young lady how to submit a Zine to the shop. I took the leap! She was so helpful and supportive and super excited! I knew at that moment what I needed to do. I had a place for my words to flourish under someones watchful, loving eye. I went home and took out all of my books and selected the prose that I felt would make a great debut. With help from a friend, I got the paper the size that I envisioned. With encouragement from the few that I told, I went forward. I completed my Zine and put all of my love into creating it. Again, with the help of my friend, I then had copies made to submit to Wasted Ink. After a little bit of time to gather myself together, I prepared the package. I emailed Charissa, the founder and owner of Wasted Ink Zine. I was making sure to cross the T's and dot the I's. She was so amazing and helpful and welcoming that I knew I had to go get it in there. Then one bright, sunny day I grabbed the paperwork, the Zines and went to Wasted Ink along with my biggest supporter and side kick, my daughter Bri. She is always there by my side and is along on this crazy journey with me.
I walked into the shop and spoke with Denise. She actually remembered me from the first time that I had gone into the shop! She was very helpful and made sure that I had everything that I needed to get my paperwork off to Charissa. After all was said and done, I felt like I was walking on air. It was such a feeling of elation. A bright light was bouncing around inside of me and I felt like everyone could see it. Now if that is not a rush, I do not know what is.
A short time later, I received notice on my Instagram that my Zine was getting put on the shelves! Another amazing feeling believe me. My Zine was featured in a most amazing photo in a plant and surrounded by green and brown earthy hues that wrapped it in it's warm embrace. I shared my good news with everyone and now I am super inspired to work on the next one. I even had the opportunity to share my news and the information on the airwaves through my friends on KDIF 102.9 FM local South Phoenix radio. My friend Angelica aka RoseWax Vinyl Club has provided me an outlet to read my poetry live on her Sunday broadcast. I have read a few times but this time, I was also interviewed and read from the Zine. I also of course let everyone know where they could find the shop since it is so cool! You can check out KDIF on kdif.org or tune in for one of the many programs on 102.9 FM which streams live on kdif.org if you are not in listening range.
After my trial one, I am going to make some format changes and add more writings. I am excited to see what happens next. Thank you Charissa! Thank you Denise! And thanks to WastedInk Zine Distro and the arts and the local scene that encourages individuality and the format for people to pursue a dream.
You can catch Wasted Ink on Instagram: Wasted Ink Zine Distro and on Facebook: Wasted Ink Zine Distro. And of course,through their website: wizd-az.com
Peace, Love and Happiness always kids! Follow your path and do what brings you joy <3
So here we will get back into the writing. I have many notebooks and sketch pads full of poems, prose, doodles, sketches, short stories and free writes. I had at one point dreamed of publishing a book. I also have submitted my writings to various publishers, magazines and publications which has led to a folder full of rejection letters. Now, the rejection letters did not deter me from writing and did not stop me from looking into other outlets to share my writing. I do not get crushed from rejection, especially when someone gives me pointers and constructive criticism. I take the advice and absorb it like a sponge. I go back to what I wrote, read it and let it resonate within me and then I will tweak it, not with all of them of course because again, they are my words and some will only be for my eyes. I hope that my words can reach others in many ways. I hope that for some it gives them joy, peace, strength, inspiration and courage. Everyone will take away what is specific to them and others of course it may mean nothing at all and to that I am alright with. I realize that some people do not get touched by words but stick with only visual stimulation. By understanding this it has led me to another path. I am so very proud of myself for finally beginning to find the outlet that I have been seeking. By showing vulnerability, by being positive when the negative wants to take over (which sometimes does happen) and more importantly believing in myself, I have realized that there is an audience out there waiting.
So, what has happened most recently is I have written and produced a Zine. A Zine for those of you that do not know is a small publication like a magazine but smaller. There is no rhyme or reason, there is no right or wrong to how it must be. It is a perfect outlet for people who have something to say and are not ready or have no desire to publish a novel, a book of poetry or what have you. They come in all different shapes, colors, styles and forms (just like people).
I chose to hand write mine and spread little illustrations of flowers and like throughout the pages. There is also a page of positive affirmations that I free wrote out of my head and decided to add it to the Zine. I titled it " The Melancholy Musings of a Misfit Girl" which is a title that is very personal to me. I have spent a large majority of my life swimming in melancholy thoughts and actions. There is a reason that people thought of me as Eeyore and I guess that is also why he was my favorite character for most of my life, I could relate to him. Even though I smiled and had a good time, I was weighed heavy with sadness, self doubt and fear. I have come so far from who I was that the melancholy musings are now turning more and more into inspirational words. I decided to produce the first Zine as my melancholy writings which will lead into the positive ones. My next one will be uplifting, full of happiness and vibrant colors and of course, good vibes.
I was drawn to a local place in Phoenix called Wasted Ink Zine Distro thanks to Instagram and following local businesses and writers, as you all know how much I support local! I went to visit there for the very first time and perused the shelves. There was something for everyone! The shop is quaint, warm and welcoming. There are little baby Zines hanging on the walls with colorful string and paperclips. There are Zines on shelves and on top of bookcases. There are stickers, buttons, handmade cards (better than Hallmark) and so much more! I fell in love instantly. I asked the young lady how to submit a Zine to the shop. I took the leap! She was so helpful and supportive and super excited! I knew at that moment what I needed to do. I had a place for my words to flourish under someones watchful, loving eye. I went home and took out all of my books and selected the prose that I felt would make a great debut. With help from a friend, I got the paper the size that I envisioned. With encouragement from the few that I told, I went forward. I completed my Zine and put all of my love into creating it. Again, with the help of my friend, I then had copies made to submit to Wasted Ink. After a little bit of time to gather myself together, I prepared the package. I emailed Charissa, the founder and owner of Wasted Ink Zine. I was making sure to cross the T's and dot the I's. She was so amazing and helpful and welcoming that I knew I had to go get it in there. Then one bright, sunny day I grabbed the paperwork, the Zines and went to Wasted Ink along with my biggest supporter and side kick, my daughter Bri. She is always there by my side and is along on this crazy journey with me.
I walked into the shop and spoke with Denise. She actually remembered me from the first time that I had gone into the shop! She was very helpful and made sure that I had everything that I needed to get my paperwork off to Charissa. After all was said and done, I felt like I was walking on air. It was such a feeling of elation. A bright light was bouncing around inside of me and I felt like everyone could see it. Now if that is not a rush, I do not know what is.
A short time later, I received notice on my Instagram that my Zine was getting put on the shelves! Another amazing feeling believe me. My Zine was featured in a most amazing photo in a plant and surrounded by green and brown earthy hues that wrapped it in it's warm embrace. I shared my good news with everyone and now I am super inspired to work on the next one. I even had the opportunity to share my news and the information on the airwaves through my friends on KDIF 102.9 FM local South Phoenix radio. My friend Angelica aka RoseWax Vinyl Club has provided me an outlet to read my poetry live on her Sunday broadcast. I have read a few times but this time, I was also interviewed and read from the Zine. I also of course let everyone know where they could find the shop since it is so cool! You can check out KDIF on kdif.org or tune in for one of the many programs on 102.9 FM which streams live on kdif.org if you are not in listening range.
After my trial one, I am going to make some format changes and add more writings. I am excited to see what happens next. Thank you Charissa! Thank you Denise! And thanks to WastedInk Zine Distro and the arts and the local scene that encourages individuality and the format for people to pursue a dream.
You can catch Wasted Ink on Instagram: Wasted Ink Zine Distro and on Facebook: Wasted Ink Zine Distro. And of course,through their website: wizd-az.com
Peace, Love and Happiness always kids! Follow your path and do what brings you joy <3
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