Do you remember where you first faced a massive fear? I have experienced that clenching feeling on a few occasions.
A few posts back I spoke of facing fears in regards to reading my poetry out loud to an audience. The first time that I read my poetry to an audience it was on the radio at KDIF 102.9 FM on my friends' program, the RoseWax Vinyl Club. This as I said before is an amazing community organization that is growing more every day and giving an outlet for many more voices in the community to be able to express themselves through music, art, poetry, for dj's, creating events and so much more! It was an amazing feeling to be able to conquer that fear that resonated within me for so long. This will lead me into the subject of this blog entry.
A good friend of mine and an inspiration may I add has done many Open Mic events. She is so free and wild and full of light and I am inspired and in awe of her fierce determination everyday. She was invited to be the featured poet at an Open Mic at the Fair Trade Cafe in downtown Phoenix. Well, she invited me to come out and check it out. I was nervous as she had asked me if I wanted to read! Of course I wanted to but I was paralyzed with fear. I talked myself out of reading but said I would go to support her. My daughter went with me because she had been invited as well and she actually wanted to read her poems. It made me so proud to hear her say that with no fear in her voice.
We arrived at the cafe, a little unsure but ready to check it out. We walked out onto the back patio and we suddenly were in another world. Soft lighting and smiles greeted us as soon as we walked into the courtyard. My friend Angelica runs up and gives us a huge hug. She gets us settled in and begins to introduce us to her friends. Everyone was so open and warm and friendly. It made me feel so at ease. The sign up sheet was presented by Renaissance and no pressure to sign up just letting us know that it was there. My daughter signed up and a few other people did as well. After little banter back and forth about how nervous I was, I finally decided to put my name on the list! Well, no turning back now. More people arrived and I saw a lot of familiar friendly faces ( Franco from KDIF, a huge supporter showed up) which eased my mind a bit.
Suddenly, Ren announced that it was time to begin. He asked the crowd, who wanted to go first. Before I could second guess myself or shut my mouth, I raised my hand and volunteered! What was I thinking? Well, let me tell you I was so scared but upon walking up to the mic I looked at my daughter face and saw her pride and smile, then scanned the crowd and saw Angelica smiling at me as if to say "go on, you got this".....I took a deep breath and spoke. After I finished my poem I felt elated, shaky and proud. There is no feeling like that to know that people actually listened to my words, clapped and smiled and I got some hugs as well. I knew that I was unstoppable at that point. No more fear, at least in the writing department. I watched my daughter go up and spill her heart out and she brought tears to my eyes both out of her words and pride. We officially became a mother daughter poetry powerhouse that night. Some amazing words were spoken that night which fueled my desire to read more and participate more. Everyone who read was a true inspiration. And the community is fantastic!
I read a poem of strength through survival and after I got done a lovely woman came up with tears in her eyes and asked if she could hug me because she said that she needed to hear those words that night. It was surreal and lovely and empowering!
My next experience with the Open Mic was again hosted by my friend Angelica at a great place simply called The Barbershop, because it is indeed a barbershop run by an amazingly talented young lady. She opens her shop up in the back for a quaint little Open Mic. When my daughter and I walked into this place my friend came up and embraced me with her warmth. Again, we signed up on the sheet and got settled in to begin the evening. We had food provided by the amazing Baja Roots with some of the best tacos I really have ever tasted. And some bomb Aguas provided by Aguas de Ari. All were signed up on the sheet and I once again volunteered to read first. I read about standing up for ourselves, love, hate and everything in between. My daughter read quite a few pieces and she never ceases to amaze me each and every time. This open mic had musicians, poets, artists and a lot of love and laughs. I met so many amazing people and felt so much love and warmth from these people that it brought me to tears upon reflection. It is wonderful to be a part of this community. We stand up for each other, we encourage each other and we love and support one another.
I now know that this is my purpose, where it will lead who knows. All that I know is that I am blessed to have met the people that I have, the opportunities that I have been given, the outlets that have have opened up for me and the supporters and dare I say fans that I have gained. This will continue to happen as I am realizing that my voice needs to be heard and maybe my words will help and inspire some one else to heal and speak up.
I want to thank Angelica, The Barbershop, Fair Trade Cafe, Baja Roots, Aguas De Ari and everyone who participates, shares and gives us the outlets to do this!
This girl feel like she is part of a huge community full of love and light! I am humbled, honored and full of pride. Thank you!! Please check out on Instagram or Facebook some of these amazingly talented people. feminaflower, bajarootsaz, aguas_de_ari, the barbershop, fair trade cafe, cheetah volcano, JUSTPOETRY, Justice That Works, KDIF.org . Until next time, I thank you again for reading. Peace!
